Three years ago today (actually, now three years and eight days ago) was one of the most crucial moments in my life – the day I received a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Wait! I know what you’re thinking, “Oh, so, you’re a narcissist?” “Isn’t that the Amber Heard disorder?” “So you’re a crazy bitch too?”
No, no, and again, no. Stigma comes from a lack of education or knowledge about a topic, so I’ll give you a brief BPD 101 course.
BPD is a complicated mental health condition characterized by pervasive patterns of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and emotions. Individuals with BPD often experience intense and fluctuating emotions, struggling with a profound fear of abandonment that leads to frantic efforts to prevent real or perceived abandonment.
The exact cause of the disorder is unknown. Still, it tends to show up in adults with childhood sexual, emotional, and physical abuse and trauma, constant fear and distress, neglect, and growing up with someone who displayed severe mental health symptoms.
As you can probably imagine, navigating my disorder was like walking through a storm - uncertain and tumultuous. And even though remission rates with therapy could be up to 77%, I thought that I was very distant from being a positive statistic. However, here I am, living proof that symptom remission is possible.
The journey wasn't just about battling my BPD; it was a multifaceted struggle that included losing my soulmate of a true best friend, changing jobs from what I once considered my dream job, and learning how to live alone.
Despite it being the best and worst three years of my life (hehe, dialectical), the journey was ultimately transformative. I put my inner demons to the test and proved to be resilient and committed. My doubts about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and its positive statistics were replaced with a success story. It wasn’t doubts about the therapy itself; I doubted I would get to a place where I could honestly say, “I am happy.”
However, that isn’t to say I don’t mess up, I don’t do things I shouldn’t, or even that I never display symptoms because I absolutely do. I can say, though, that impulsivity isn’t as bad as it was, the fear of abandonment isn’t as scary as I thought, and the emptiness isn’t as overwhelming.
Today, three years later, on the anniversary of my diagnosis, I stand stronger than ever. The journey reshaped my understanding of resilience, mental health, and the strength within myself. This anniversary is a celebration of triumphs over tribulation and that the road is challenging, but the destination is absolutely worth the struggle.
But more importantly, it's proof that people with BPD can endure, adapt, and emerge not just intact but stronger, more compassionate, and self-aware.
If you or someone you know struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder, remember/remind them that you/they are far better than you/they were three years ago.
Remember/remind them that symptom remission is possible, and though it may not be easy, it’s worth it.
Remember/remind them that you’re/they’re not stuck in that toxic relationship, and you will be okay if you or they leave.
Remember/remind them that it’s okay to cut off family members even though “they’re blood."
Remember/remind them that BPD is a disorder caused by emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, neglect, and fear, and it isn’t and wasn’t your/their fault.
Remember/remind them that one second can feel like forever, but the moment and emotions will pass.
And finally, remember/remind them that you/they’re not alone.